Three things I want to remember about my kids

1. They are precious gifts and I need to appriciate them more!!!!

2. They are unique and important individuals with a purpose in life. One of my purposes is to help them fullfill theirs.

3. They are sensitive, they "wear their hearts on their sleeves" as one friend put it. Therefore I need to be more thoughtful and less abrupt in how I deal with them.

I had the most perfect day. The weather here in Michigan was gorgeous, a perfect Indian summer day. We started off with church, the girls sang in the children's choir and did great. My Sunday school class was a blast, the theme was "Old and Young Make Good Friends" and I had 4 senior citizens come in and talk about their childhood and show the kids pictures of themselves as children. Then we made bracelets together. My kids were fantastic, no fighting, no fussing and very sweet and respectful with our guests.

In the afternoon my family went to an apple orchard. Here's some pictures, the day was glorious.

When we got home DH and I raked leaves and worked in the yard, something we desperately needed to do. For dinner we had a scrumptious Hungarian Szedinger Gulasch which had been in the crock-pot all day. I'm still bloated from it! Now I just have to get the kids to bed and do some homework and my perfect day will be at an end... sigh.

I am blessed

Despite my moaning and complaining occasionally about my kids, my life, my stress I have to stop every now and then and remind myself to count my blessings.

I have two smart, well behaved, healthy beautiful children who teach me new things and bring me joy every day.

I have a supportive, loving husband.

I love my job.

I get to expand my mind and my knowledge regularly by attending graduate school.

I have wonderful, supportive parents.

I have kind and interesting friends.

I have a roof over my head, clothes on my body and food on my table.

All my loved ones are healthy.

I have a caring UU community to act as my sanctuary when the greater world gets to be too much.

...I'm sure I have many more blessings, theses are just the ones that come to mind right now. I hope I don't sound like I'm bragging. I just had one of those moments where I looked at my child and recognized how special she is and how lucky I am to have her (and her sister) in my life; and I had to stop and pay homage to her and to the wonder that is life!

The Blue October and Yellowcard concert last night...

...was absolutely amazing. The concert started off with a not too good garage band. They were followed by Shiny Toy Guns, who were pretty good. Then things really got kicking with Yellowcard. They were great! I didn't know their music all that well before the concert, just a few songs. But their performance rocked! The lead singer was really dynamic and spoke a lot with the crowd. He really got us going. The violinist was fabulous and really talented.

To back track a moment, I went to the concert with my DH. He wasn't really into it, so we started out sitting in the balcony. I wasn't feeling the energy up there, all the people were sitting there, still as stones, acting bored! So towards the end of Yellowcard I excused myself and went down front to dance. Apparently I was gone for 1.5 hours, because once Blue October started playing I totally lost track of time! DH was kind of annoyed, but seriously this is my FAVORITE band and I just had to dance...

Justin was incredible! I was about 5 rows back from the front and several times he came over to the section I was dancing in. Staring into his eyes while screaming along with his vocals is not an experience I'm going to forget! The band played 1.5 hours, and covered almost every song from Foiled, as well as several from Consent to Treatment and History For Sale. They played my two favorites, HRSA and X Amount of Words, so I was in heaven!

The only two down parts to the concert: The sound checks between each band took about 30 minutes each, so that was 1.5 hours lost. All in all the concert lasted 5 hours. So my babysitter bill was extreme... LOL, but it was worth it! The other thing that wasn't so nice was there were these 3 totally drunken jerks right behind me on the floor. They kept slamming into me and these 3 other "little" women. One of them spilled his beer all over a girls back... when we told them off they got in our face and started screaming about how they were "real" fans and we should go home and listen to the band on our radios... Assholes. I know, never bother arguing with a drunk as it won't get you anywhere but it was frustrating as they were sending such a bad energy into the crowd....

Anyone still with me? Okay, then I'll just say a few words about WHY I love Blue October so much. It's not just the music, although their sound is phenomenal. It is the lyrics too. You know that Justin has been through hell in his life, drug addiction, abuse, and hospitalization in mental wards. But he made it OUT, AND THROUGH THE OTHER SIDE. A lot of his songs are about recovery and how amazing life is. He has such a positive message about why life is great and worth living, and when someone with that kind of past says "LIFE IS GOOD!" you REALLY listen! Plus he is incredibly intelligent and has an amazing talent for poetry... I could go on but I'll stop now. Sufficiet to say, I HAD A GREAT TIME!

why we co-sleep

Okay, I promised to write this journal a while ago but I've been putting it off. I wanted to find the perfect words, but that's not going to happen. So I'll just give it my best.

I began co-sleeping immediately with my first born. She was a "high-needs" baby. She needed lots of holding and LOTS of breastfeeding. At that time I hadn't read any parenting books, no one had told me what I was SUPPOSED to be doing. I just went with my gut and tried my best to meet my baby's needs. And what she needed was love, comfort and ME!

Over time I found that the best, most peaceful way for us all to get some sleep was for my baby to be in my bed. Most of the time when she woke up to nurse I would latch her on and go straight back to sleep. Much more preferable to me than getting up and sitting somewhere with her.

Fast forward 18 months. At this point we slowly transitioned DD1 into her own bed. It took about 6 months, but we got to the point where she was sleeping all alone. Then DD2 came along. At the time, DH was working in another country, and I was all alone with a toddler and a newborn. It was just easier for me to have both children in my bed at night, so DD1 moved back into our room.

Since then we have cycled through phases where both kids slept with us, one kid slept with us, or both kids slept alone. We "go with the flow" and whatever is needed AT THE TIME is what we do. Right now we are back to having both girls in our bed. For various reasons they NEED this right now. And I have to say, when I come home form a long night at work and crawl in between those two precious angels it is the best feeling in the world. I whisper to them I love them, hold their little hands and feel that overwhelming love wash over me.

So, why do we co-sleep? Because it is good for our children. Because it improves our family bond. Because it has helped my girls learn to care for and nurture each other. (Honestly I have never seen two more loving and empathetic children than mine (mother's pride aside!) and I believe that our years of sacrifice, nurturing and parenting has helped shaped these characteristics in them.) Because, in the end, it's what works for us.

a little disappointed

So I'm a little disappointed with my daughter's Halloween costumes this year. For once, both of them picked something to be other than a Disney Princess. My little one wanted to be Alice, from Alice in Wonderland and the eldest wanted to be a gypsy. I found an Alice costume at the Disney store, but it was $40! We are really short on money right now and that is just too much. I DON'T have time to make something this year either.

So DH found an ad last night in the paper for a Halloween store with costumes on sale. I let the girls look at it and pick what costumes they liked. Even though I had been planning on pulling together a gypsy costume myself, once DD1 saw the store costumes of course she wanted one too. So we ended up with... Tinkerbell and Cinderella. Great, how original. :(

I know, I'm being silly right? They are happy and that's what counts. But I was really looking forward to something a little original this year.... Kick me if you think I'm being stupid. :)

Poor Me

I'm feeling rather self-pitying right now... I went to the foot doctor today because an old problem has been flaring up and causing me a lot of pain. After lots of waiting and lots of x-rays she determined that I have ARTHRITIS in my foot! Now I have to wear this horrible wedge shoe for 2 weeks and get fitted for special (read VERY EXPENSIVE) insoles. I can't have shots because I'm allergic to them, so this is it. I'm barely over 30 and I have arthritis? Wah! Sorry for the pity party but this is really annoying. The shoe SUCKS and makes me look like a git. And I'm wondering if I have problems now what's it going to be like in 20 years? Boo hoo, okay, the party's over, I'll quit whinging now....