That's what Saskia said to me last night, in regards to Fiona. They had a fight, Saskia threw a toy (which hit Fiona in the face) and I put her in time out for it. Honestly it was a mild punishment, she should have gotten something more severe, like being grounded, for lobbing a Polly Pocket house at her sister's head, but I wasn't in the mood. So she got a lecture about expressing her frustration in a more productive, and less violent way, and had to sit on the stairs for 5 minutes. Not exactly a harsh punishment.
A few minutes later I find her crying, saying that I would "never be as nice to her as I was to Fiona". Just because I was comforting her sister after she was hit. We talked, I told her that I love them both equally because they are both my daughters. That they each have unique, special qualities and that I love those things about them, but even if the things are different the amount of my love is the same. And that no matter what happens, I will always love them both with my whole heart.
She nodded as I spoke, but I wonder if it really sunk in? Does she really believe me? Was this comment a passing thing, said in the heat of the moment or does she really believe that I love her sister more? I can understand where she'd get that idea, since Fiona is so needy I do end up spending more of my energy on her. I just don't want her to grow up feeling unloved. I want her to know, with every fiber of her being, that I love her with my whole heart and soul. I don't want her to ever doubt that.
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5 comments:
Hi Sweetie! All I can say is that you did the right thing and it is very normal behavior. Don't worry - she knows. You're a great Mom.
I would love to read a post about your new job..
I think that this is normal, Aiden sometimes says things like this after punishment. I think everything you said to her was right, she knows that you love her!
i think it's normal too - at least that's what i tell myself when lily says it to me. i honesty think it's a deflection technique - ie, get the attention off my bad behavior and induce guilt in my mom.
I am fairly certain I used it on my mom a time or two when I was younger (or last week...). I know she loves us all equally, and so will she. Just make sure you keep telling her.
I'm sure she said it in the heat of the moment, but maybe she's been feeling a little detached to. When I hear things like from others it usually feels to me like it's been something in the back of their mind recently. Maybe have a date with her this weekend!
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