Friday, March 12, 2010

A Way to Live

This morning there was an email from my husband in my inbox with a job description he'd like to apply for. He sent it to me under the assumption that I wouldn't want him to apply because of the location. I think I surprised him when I wrote back and said to go for it. Since then I've been a bit day-dreamy, imagining what life would be like if he did get this job. It's in an amazing location, in a place which would require a lot of changes on our part to fit in. I imagined myself not working, at least for the first few months, while I got the girls adjusted. I imagined us taking daily trips around the city, seeing all the sights. I imagined the interactions we'd have with people, the conversations, the life-style. It all is so perfect in my mind. Now I know two things about these imaginings. 1) It's not likely to happen, so I should not get my hopes up and 2) nothing is ever as I imagine it will be.

To the first, I feel I have a healthy attitude. Life is good, with minor exceptions, like what happened yesterday to my eldest. I have a beautiful, loving family, a wonderful home in a great neighborhood, friends, activities and a life that I love. If nothing comes of this I will be just fine with what I have.

To the second, I remind myself that the grass is always greener on the other side. I moved from the US to Europe back to the US seeking that perfect place and I am realistic enough to know it doesn't exist. Some places are more beautiful, more friendly, more fitting for a person than others but everywhere can work if we work at making it do so. But still those pictures of rising early to take the train to a cultural center with my girls in tow, showing them all the wonders they are now old enough to appreciate, well those pictures are very tempting. I imagine that I am wise enough now not to waste such an opportunity, as I frequently wasted my time in Germany. I imagine I would live every day to the fullest. Then it hits me, that I can do that now. I don't have to go to some far off fairy tale land to live. I can do it here, today, by making different choices. Instead of watching TV in the evening, I can take a walk in my lovely neighborhood. Instead of wasting away a weekend doing laundry and shopping, I can take my children skating, or to the DIA, or out to the countryside. There are opportunities everywhere, we just have to reach out and take them. That's a way I'd like to live.


Kate said...

Ooh, where is it? Chicago? Not the point of your post, I know, but I'm still intrigued.:)

Lweeks said...

Chrissi, I can always relate to your posts and this is no exception. Hooray for you! It's like the Bucket List, except that we can do our 'list' anytime we choose. Love you girl.